To really consider that living in the moment and being happy is hard as it can compromise everything you have worked for. For me it is hard to find my drive for my work and knowing my passion for what I want to do as well as living a life that may change everything. Being around different people really does start to impact your vision and perspective on life. You begin to picture different possibilities in order to save and keep what is right in front of you. It is here that you loose track and forget to be grateful and slide into a world that is not yours. No longer in your basket but someone else's.
I have been through so much from loosing everything in Zimbabwe and not knowing what the future held but at least trusting my family would be there. I struggled in every aspect and it is only recently that I have completely calmed down.
However I still stress about what could be, about failure, about negativity. The worry does consume me and I imagine it is because I am afraid of the outcomes so I procrastinate till the last minute knowing there is no way out but forward. I am also so indecisive sometimes I would jump out of the basket take the advise from a medium, or believe I could so anything but other times I will change my mind refraining from being out of my comfort zone.
So much of what you said makes a lot of sense to me. The fact that you lost everything in Zim, is devastating. At the moment I feel I' in the same place as you, as you described you are in work, the drive is just not happening. Does that mean my passion is not really my passion anymore? Or maybe just one of those dry spots.. And the procrastinating hit the nail on the head! But I'll take your advice and not count my chickens before they hatch :) Maybe the experience will be my motivator for something in the future.
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